Nuts Or No Nuts
We all want to know what sex our child is going to be at some point during the process of having a child. Some people make parties while others don't, but they usually try some pretty clever ways to introduce the reveal. In this case, they decided to go with a little wordplay joke to liven up the party before the reveal. And it was all summed up with a pretty hilarious meme:
To be fair, everyone is obsessed with gender these days. Whether you want to do away with conventional gender labels or you want to know what your baby is going to be, the fact is that no one can stop talking about gender.
The Only One Naked
Gender reveal parties can be really exciting ways to tell people what the sex of your baby is going to be. However, it seems like some people might not have an actual understanding of what "gender reveal" actually means. It seems that this person might have shown up to the wrong party. Whatever party it is that they were expecting, however, is unknown to us and we don't want to find out.
This can't be real, though. This must have been the parents' idea of a funny joke. And to be fair, it is, as long as no one actually showed up to the party naked.
If you feel the need to use a monster truck in your gender reveal party it's fair to say that you were probably hoping for a specific gender, namely a male. We think it would be a little weird for people so obsessed with gender to make a party out of it that they would reveal it at a very "gender-specific" sport if they weren't hoping for a male.
Then again, we could be wrong. Maybe both the mother and father of the child like this sort of thing. Perhaps it says a lot about why they're having a gender reveal party.
Ruffles Or Rifles
Forget the part where we don't know why they call it a gender reveal party and not a "biological sex reveal party" because the thing that stumps us most is why people feel like their child should be playing with guns if they are a male. If you come from a hunting family, you're probably going to be taught how to hunt regardless of what your gender is.
But in this day and age, you would think that people would be a bit more sensitive regarding guns. After everything we've gone through in the past few years, a gun is the last thing we want to see near our children.
Bikinis Or Board Shorts
These are just more confusing cake words that are meant to be cute while also implying subtle stereotypes of one's gender. As you can clearly see, these people have a pretty good idea when it comes to the type of clothing this child is going to be wearing. Well, the joke will be on them when it turns out their little boy wants to wear a bikini, or--more likely--their girl wants some board shorts.
Thinking about it, those old-timey striped bathing outfits from the 30s are basically one-piece bikinis for men. And while we're on it, board shorts are basically regular shorts and women definitely wear those.
Wheels Or Heels
Ah, yes. More clever wordplay and alliteration when it comes to the reveal of one's gender (or, rather, biological sex). Even if it doesn't make much sense at all, it wouldn't be a gender reveal party without this sacred tradition of linking rhyming or similar-sounding words to the chromosomes this child will carry. In this case, it seems to imply that women don't drive or like cars and men can't ever wear heels.
On the contrary, women do drive (although some would like to believe they do a worse job of it) and many men's shoes have a heel. It may not be a stiletto, but men's shoes come with heels all the time.
Hotdog Or Taco
This one would be a little cute if it weren't ruining some of our favorite foods. A "Hotdog or Taco baby sex reveal party"? We don't want to have to think about tacos or hotdogs being a reference to a child's private parts. So while the hotdog plushie is certainly a cute toy to give to the child, we would kindly request that you never associate these things together again.
On the bright side, this is one of those rare moments when someone is doing a gender reveal party and acknowledges that they aren't actually revealing the gender. That baby's gonna have a good home.
Here For The Sex
As it turns out, knowing that you're actually revealing the biological sex and not the gender isn't always a good thing. It opens an opportunity for uncomfortable wordplay that makes the whole idea of the party feel a bit trashy. Just take a look at the sign in the picture below. If this is the kind of thing that speaks to you, then maybe you should reconsider having a gender reveal party.
This certainly does not tell us anything about a baby party. Not even the colors could help with that. All of these signs need to be thrown away immediately.
Gender Reveal... Lasagna
When you make a gender reveal party, you typically make or order a cake to cut into for the reveal. And there's a good reason for that. You really don't want to end up with the disaster that this family had for their gender reveal party. Although, they don't seems as concerned about the whole thing as we do. In fact, they actually think that it was a "massive success".
Well, looking at this again, we seriously have to argue against that idea. We have no idea how they made the cheese blue, but we're thinking that's the worst part about it.
Bows Or Badges
Well, this is certainly an interesting one. Never mind the fact that the female side of the cake is more decorated than the male side (because you can't make that side pretty). We just can't with how sexist these cakes are. They always seem to demean females and make it out as if they can't do the same things that males can. In this case, their potential little girl seems to be on track for not becoming a police officer.
Not like anyone is all that excited to become a police officer these days. But even still, girls can do whatever they want if they set their mind to it.
Bows Or Free Throws
Except, apparently, play basketball that is. This time we've got another "bows or" cake because girls are just meant to be pretty. Certainly, they shouldn't be getting all sweaty playing basketball. And, unsurprisingly, the male side is as tastelessly decorated as the blatant sexism all over this cake. We don't know why these cakes always have to place the child into boxes, but it doesn't seem like that'll be changing anytime soon.
For now, we'll just have to suffer through the rest of these alliterative cakes. They may sound pretty catchy, but the only thing they're catching are our negative feelings.
Bows Or Baskets
Interestingly enough, the bows or baskets thing was popular enough for someone to make a set of pins out of it. The character displayed in the pins, though, doesn't change outside of its clothing and hair, so it honestly looks like a girl is playing both sides. It's kind of like whoever bought these are sure they are having a girl, but they're trying to decide what her interests are going to be.
If they want some advice, we'd push them to make baskets the hobby of choice. Bows are nice and all, but there's something so artificial about a personality based on beauty.
This was a pretty interesting idea as far as reveals go. Involving a hippopotamus in the reveal has made this reveal one of the more interesting ones to see, but it begs the question as to why this is a thing. We can't figure out any reason whatsoever to get a hippo for the party. It has nothing to do with gender or sex stereotypes whatsoever, but we guess it's kind of cool.
The watermelon thing was probably a bad decision, though. Although we are able to tell that they're having a boy because there is blue inside of it, it makes it a little confusing with all the red juice flying around as well.
But that's not the only set of parents who used a live (and dangerous) animal in their gender reveal party. This pair actually used a live alligator for theirs! if there was ever any animal to use for something like this, why would you ever choose an alligator? Something about this whole thing seems a bit off. And where in the world do these people even get these animals from?
This whole thing just screams back woods hillbilly to us. Maybe they've had this croc in their swampland home all this time and decided to get it involved because its part of the family now.
Pink Smoke And a Pickup Truck
Speaking of backwoods hillbilly-type stuff, this next one is sure to scream the same thing to you. Maybe it would be more proper to call it rednecky or what have you. Either way, we think that sending a whole burst of pink smoke out of your white pickup truck says a whole lot about the type of family this girl is going to be born into. Not that that's a nad thing, though.
It just seems a little plain or anticlimactic in a way. Maybe it's because we just saw a live hippo and alligator doing the reveals for other peoples' parties.
When it comes to this cake, we don't even know what to say. It seems so tasteless to make a marijuana cake for the reveal of the sex of your baby. Though, if the caption says anything, maybe they were trying to make a joke as if to say that one boy was enough and they're going to need these sunstances to be able to make it through having their second one.
We certainly hope that's not the case. We just can't figure out who on Earth thought this was a good idea. If you're going to make a cake about a baby you need to make it kid friendly!
Speaking of bad ideas, here's the one where they got a plain pizza with olive lettering for the reveal of their child's biological sex. While you don't necessarily have to get a cake for the reveal, we do question the person who decided that a pizza would be the way to go. It seems the people who prepared the pizza had the same idea. "happy to be apart" implies they are happy to be far away from this.
Obviously, they meant to say "a part", but we think it's funnier to think that they were being very meta about the whole pizza situation. Net time, just make a cake at home.
It's A Different Dad
When you go to a gender reveal party, you typically expect for the gender to be what they are going to be revealing. It's all in the name. Usually, that means that some sort of trick is going to be used to reveal the color associated with that gender, whether it be slicing into a cake or sending smoke out of your white pickup truck. But as this person's caption implies, this was something else entirely.
It turns out that this person may not have been revealing the gender of the baby, but the ethnicity of it. Just check out the look on that guy's face. It says everything we need to know.
Guns Or Glitter
Oh, here's a good one: instead of bows, they use glitter now. And even better: the male side has guns again. We don't know what people's fascination is with allowing guns to be a part of their child's life. Video games are one thing, but using guns to decorate a cake that is supposed to celebrate their conception is certainly an odd choice. One that we think needs to come to an end.
We just hope that this fascination doesn't get passed on in the wrong way to the child. Otherwise, they may end up regretting this whole "guns or glitter" thing.
An Explosive Surprise
Now, this isn't something you see every day. This is what you call an open invitation to someone's gender reveal party. And by open invitation, we mean it was pretty much forced. One minute someone is walking out of a store and the next minute either they or someone else comes crashing into the place with their van. "It's a boy!" says the car. It's also a fine and possible jail time, says the court.
We don't know what compelled this person to crash their car into the store. Maybe all the excitement from the good news as well as a little help from the after party incited this incident.
The Pink Man Group
We thought live animals was an interesting decision, albeit a little weird that what we've seen so far has involved dangerous creatures that should not be at a party. But what about using the live animal that is a human being? Well, it seems that these people have figure out just how to incorporate that idea into their reveal. And let's just say that it's certainly a little bit strange.
We get why he's naked and covered in paint, but it seems a little bit odd to get someone to come out and surprise you like this. Especially those dance moves he's about to pull out.
A Horrific Baby
If you thought that was bad, just wait until you see this reveal. The announcement started off with a big box and some people standing around with smoke poppers. After a short countdown, they popped the smoke revealing that the baby was going to be a boy. Little did anyone know what was waiting for them inside the box. And let's just say it was even more cursed than the last reveal we looked at.
We thought the naked mink man was bad, but after seeing this we don;t think there's any worse way to reveal a child's gender than this hulking creepy baby suit.
And look at this now: it seems that the baby suits have found their way to the internet. Clearly, whoever used this costume wanted to have nothing to do with it anymore. They are definitely the most creepy thing we have seen in a long time. And the fact that there are two of them just makes this thing so much worse. They need to be burned with extreme prejudice.
Can we talk about their price for a second, though? $200 for both of them seems like a crazy amount. The fact that someone bought these costumes for potentially more than that seems like a bad decision on their part.
The Blue Dog
We've already seen all manner of animals used for these gender reveal parties. This time we've finally come across a more tame and cute animal for the reveal. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like the people who were in charge of making the reveal happen took very good care of making sure the dog didn't run away because that's exactly what happened. Although, we wouldn't have been able to see this cutie otherwise.
We think this dog is very, very cute, that's for sure. On the other hand, we can't condone this kind of treatment. You probably shouldn't be dyeing your dog, especially if they come out looking as uneven as this.
What The Duck
This one is actually pretty tame compared to all the others, albeit for the profanity they were clearly trying to avoid yet ironically left on their in an attempt to make a cute cake. At least we can say that there is no sign here of any gender stereotypes written anywhere and that's definitely a plus. Still, we can't exactly ignore the use of profanity in a part for a child.
We think it deserves a pass, though, after all the other things we've seen up until now. This is probably the best we're going to get out of it.
Buck Or Doe
We're actually a bit surprised by this one because it seems to have quite a bit more detailing on the male side than on the female side. It might just be some edible paper with an image on it, but the point still stands. Either way, this has got to be one of the more backwoodsy (pun intended) cakes we have seen so far. But it does look delicious.
That caption really does capture the essence of the cake. Those kids may have a really nice cake, but you know their names are going to be just awful.
Here For The Sex Part 2
Something you would expect to see at a gender reveal party would be some nice decorations and maybe a nice cake or whatever else the family is using to make the reveal happen. Typically that would incorporate something kid friendly, but it seems not everyone is all about keeping it PG. Some people would rather get a humorous cake that appeals to all of the adults who are going to be there.
This cake is interesting because it both makes more sense than saying gender, but it also implies something a bit more explicit. We think that this far into the pregnancy the parents might say "been there, done that".
Guns Or Glitter 2
Okay, this seems to be a common trend here. All of these people keep talking about guns for their male child and we definitely find this kind of concerning. People want to blame gun violence on TV shows and video games and all these other crazy things, but maybe we're thinking about it wrong. Maybe it's the parents who are enabling the thought that guns are good.
You know, this is a conversation for another day and with other people. Guns are a complicated subject, but maybe they shouldn't be used in the determination of a literal baby's biological sex.
A Compilation Of Bad Cakes
We've seen a couple of these already, but what it has that the others don't is something to talk about. First off, we want to address that baby's bum that is on one of the cakes. Are you supposed to cut into that in order to find out the gender? It seems a bit in bad taste to cut open the child that you're waiting for, but also in that particular spot.
Moreover, we have to talk about this Jedi or princess thing. Princess Leia did become a Jedi. To say that women can't become Jedi is a big mistake on their part.
For this couple, they got a surprise they weren't expecting. Instead of getting a cake that had the reveal hidden inside of it, they got a cake with no color at all! They just got a cake that was all white on the inside. Wait... maybe that was the surprise? It turns out they're having a white baby! Just kidding, this was probably all just a big mistake on the baker's part.
At least they had a good time about it. Remember the look on the guy's face from that other reveal? The one with the black smoke? Yeah that was a good one, too.
This guy had it just as bad, but this time it was the exact opposite. Instead of getting a cake with no gender whatsoever, they got a cake with both genders. And if you think that it's probably because they are having twins, well, just look at the guy's face. His look says it all. Then again, maybe he was just turned off by the idea of having two babies in one go.
Nah, we're sure that would excite just about anyone. It's too bad for this gender reveal, though, because that strawberry chocolate cake would have been a really great treat.
Sex Or Sexuality
Now, this couple had the best of both worlds from the last two. Not only did they get a reveal which doesn't actually reveal the baby's sex, but they got a reveal that showed just about every color you could think of. Maybe this was their way of finding out that they are having an LGBTQ+ baby? We doubt anyone could know that ahead of time, though, so definitely not.
They don't seem very happy about this one, though. And we don't blame them: they asked for one simple thing but instead got a flurry of random balloons that they probably had to pay for.
Another Pizza Bash
Someone else did the pizza thing?? Well, if the last one wasn't enough of a lesson, this one for sure will teach people never to get pizza for their gender reveal parties. They never seem to turn out good no matter what you do. If you look closely, you can kind of make out the words "it's a" in the pepperoni pizza, but it seems like the last box is a lost cause.
Taking a really, really good look at it, it seems like that must have been meant to say "boy". However, it seems that whoever made this pizza didn't do a thorough enough job making sure it would turn out well.
This one is actually a pretty sad case. While in the midst of moving the gender reveal items to their destined locations, one of the boys helping to move ervything thought he would be sneaky and pop one of the balloons. We can't blame him for being curious, he seems young and naive. That being said, it must have been really disappointing to be spoiled right before the big event.
We hope that the lady accompanying the boys isn't the mom-to-be. Otherwise, this whole thing would just be sadder. We hope they had the chance to just wipe away the evidence and carry on as normal.
Another Bad Cake Compilation
You have to appreciate just how many of these cakes believe that boys do so many things and girls are just interested in fashion. We may have been complaining a bit before about how lackluster the decorations were on the male side of the cakes, but at least they had thought put into them. Tractors, touchdowns, pistols... it seems men have a lot of interests but the girls are just stuck with tiaras, pearls, or tutus.
We thought we were having a hard time with these gender reveals before, but this just puts everything into perspective. Honestly, these gender reveals are too cringe.