If you haven't seen Doctor Photograph, you're missing out. A man who turns common shopping list items into true pieces of satirical art, Doctor Photograph made a name for himself by posting these items onto his Instagram account. Some of the items are too mature to post here, but if you're interested in more, he's got a lot to offer. So, after you read this article, go give the man a follow.
California Wildfire
There's no shortage of LEGO crossovers, so it was no surprise to see something like this show up in Doctor Photograph's catalog. This collaboration features a new spin on California's wildfires.
With an underpaid fireman figure and multiple on-fire set pieces, this collection is sure to satisfy your nostalgia for the massive amounts of wildfires that plague California.
OK Boomers
This hilarious gift card is a play on the only people to actually go to Hooters these days, the so-called "boomers". Your father or grandpa will certainly appreciate this gift that keeps on giving.
We're not sure how this restaurant hasn't closed down yet, but this is sure to do the trick. It even promises you can do all those disgusting things you do when you go, too. And the impossibly long wifi password is included too!
Lonely-Man TV Dinner
We've all been there. You don't want to make yourself something to eat so you just grab something out of the freezer and call it a night. We get it, and so does Doctor Photograph.
This ultra realistic packaging lets you know exactly who's going to be eating this meal. It's not us, and it's not your ex-wife. Yes, it's you, and you'll be just as lonely after eating it as you were before.
Beauty And The Other Beast
It seems Belle has broken up with her man, but that doesn't mean she couldn't find another. After all, her name does mean beauty, just like the name of the original movie!
Only this time, it's not what you expect. Upon closer inspection, the "beast" being reffered to is none other than the devil himself. And with 666 recipes at her side, there's no way this little lady is going to lose her faith anytime soon.
CDC Album
If "Straight Outta Compton" was your jam, why not check out "Straight Outta Patience"? This album comes straight from the CDC themselves and is guarunteed to send you straight to the ER.
Though, considering the current climate, it might have been more proper to title the album "Straight Outta Patients" as that's, unfortunately, more likely the more accurate depiction.
Paternity Test
First, there were pregnancy tests, then there were home DNA sequencing tests, and now there's the handy dandy HomeDNA paternity test! No need to go jump through hoops trying to figure out who's the baby daddy.
If you suspect extramarital behavior and you don't want your wife to find out, this is the perfect thing for you. Now you, too, can figure out whether or not you really are the father.
Goldfish Moldfish
With all the flavors of Goldfish out there, this was the logical next step in the chain. It's also probably an accurate depiction of what your kids are being given by other children, sans the "mold" part.
Seriously though, the only thing appetizing about this is the minty green coloring they chose to use. Otherwise, we want nothing to do with any of this. A bacterial infection is the last thing we want nowadays.
Cheez-It Covid-19 Edition
If you enjoyed the Tide pod challenge and are looking for the next step up, look no further than this Cheez-It Duoz pack featuring the pandemic's most popular at home cleaning products!
Now you can eat all the soap you want in a safer, more reliable package. And if you're one of those people who believe that drinking bleach will cleanse your system of Covid-19 then this is exactly what you've been waiting for!
Alex Jones' COVID Cure
Speaking of COVID cures, here's Alex Jones with a soda that does the trick. If you've never heard of Alex Jones, you should really look him up. He's the most iconic conspiracy theorist the world has to offer.
Seriously, this man has an answer for everything and he's always ready to blame our problems on something or someone. We wouldn't be surprised if he saw this and said it really would cure the coronavirus.
The Cat In The Flat Earth Society
If you were hoping to expose your child to more Dr. Seuss, then this is the perfect next step. The Cat in the Flat Earth Society is the perfect way to teach your child to embrace your undeniably ridiculous scientific lies.
For those who want some good old-fashioned rhymes about how you can deny science and debate the whole world about the truth of the Earth's shape, pick this book up today!
Cough Syrup Ice Cream
Do you like cough syrup? No, but maybe that bad influence of a kid down the block does. Or maybe you just need some in general for that sudden cough and fever you developed. Well, this is the perfect product for you!
Now you can have double the throat soothing action right in your home! The liquid center is the perfect blend of cherry flavor and sadness. Pair it with Sprite, or whatever you use to wash it down with.
Guess I'll Die
"There was an old lady who swallowed a fly"... just not in this version of the story. No, this is the quintessential mood for the past two years and will quickly become a household staple.
If your time in the pandemic has sucked just as much as everyone else's, then this book ought to cheer you up. Well, maybe it will make you more depressed, but at least you'll feel understood.
I Can't Pay My Rent
From the makers of Rent comes this perfect little Broadway spin-off, "I Can't Pay My Rent"! It's the story of your life remixed and written into one small package, perfect for on-stage performances.
We seriously feel this one all right. If you don't know what it's like to be the average college student these days, this will not be your thing. Filled with drama, tears, and loans, this is sure to make you cry yourself to sleep.
Doritos
As if we needed more flavors of Doritos, now we have a flavor that's flavorless?! Though, we guess it is a nice way to liven up the artificial flavoring powder all over every bag of chips.
Honestly, we can see this being an actual marketing tactic to use for Doritos. They already have a natural corn flavor, but no flavor might be a vibe for some.
Now That's What I Call Music Remix
From the makers of "Now That's What I Call Music" comes an all-new addition to the collection "Now That's What I Call My Neighbors Shooting Off Fireworks at 3 AM"!
Now you, too, can listen at any time to the sounds of your neighbors most annoying antics, provided you're still one of those people who happens to have a CD player somewhere!
Antifa FIFA
Ever heard of Anitfa, the anti-fascism group that supports you one day and accuses you of fascism the next? Well now they're coming to a console near you, and this time they're anti-FIFA!
Now you can have all the fun that comes with playing soccer, but with much more violent tactics, such as smoke bombing your opponents or purposely tripping them! If this sounds like you, get out there and get yourself a copy today.
The Best Of Karens DVD
Do you love watching Karens suffer? Do you love to cancel people against their rights to their freedom of speech? Do you like putting people you hate out of jobs for no reason? Have we got the thing for you!
With this all-new DVD collection, you can watch all the Karens you love getting completely destroyed on the internet. Join the fun! You might just be featured one day as well.
Silent Hill
If you loved Silent Hill then you'll love this one. We imagine this would basically be some sort of walking simulator centered around a mound of dirt surrounded by farmland. That can be pretty darn creepy.
We can't imagine what the world of horror games would be like without Silent Hill, but this definitely would have been a hilarious entry to the franchise. It's literally a silent hill. Rated Q for Quiet. What's not to love?
Adderall
Are you sick and tired of stealing your child's prescription medication? Well, now you can buy yourself some with our "Enough for the Whole Class" limited edition tins!
If you or your child need to "take a chill pill" then we've got you covered. The original celebrated Adderall in one fantastic minty flavor. "Meth, but for kids"!
Avocado...ade?
Can't get enough avocado? Who can?! If you want more of your daily dose of avocado, try some avocado-ade! Made from the freshest avocadoes, this will guarantee to supplement your out-of-control addiction.
Listen, we love avocados as much as the next person, but this would just be ridiculous. If you're ready to drink this stuff, we bet you'd also be ready to inject it by way of IV. It takes a special kind of person to drink this.
Pale Skin Pale Ale
For those 'mericans who need a little something stronger comes this pale ale for the pale-skinned. With an SPF of 200, you are guaranteed to have a safe afternoon of barbequing this 4th of July.
You can't go wrong with this all-American beer from Oskar Blues Brewery. This one is for the real men and women of the red, white, and blue. Available at all local retailers.
Donald Trump PGA Tour
If you liked the last PGA tour, then you'll love this one. This is a perfect recreation of Donald Trump's very own tour that he decided to take while everyone else was suffering.
You'll even be able to check the news on your phone in real-time as hundreds of thousands perish and you skip any and all important meetings to get some time on the green. Available on all platforms and with cross-play multiplayer!
Hasidrap
It's everything you want from rap music, Jewified! If you want to skip all the swears, culture, and general understanding of the words you're hearing, this is the album for you!
We can't imagine what rap from Hassidic Jews would sound like exactly. We're sure it would just be a remix of some prayer or psalm, and, thinking about it, it probably already exists out there.
I Can't Believe Trump Tested Positive
This would be the perfect product to sell in stores except for one problem: we can believe it. Remember folks, this is the same man who believed advice to drink bleach to sanitize your body from coronavirus.
While this is a hilarious rendition of a product we all know and love from its annoyingly repetitive commercials, we also have a feeling that this product wouldn't actually do so well in stores.
Seth Rogen Laugh Track
Have you ever heard Seth Rogen laugh? If you haven't we urge you to go to your nearest internet-providing device and look it up on YouTube. It's honestly something to behold.
We know at least a handful of people who would get a kick out of this. We would definitely love to have this CD as some sort of gag, but we're sure someone out there has probably already made a collection of Rogen laughs to listen to.
I Voted!
This is the perfect product for anyone who voted in the 2020 primaries. Honestly, the "I voted for a really old white guy badge" just works no matter who you voted for.
It's shocking to think about just how old our current and previous presidents are. At this rate, we must just start picking them out of nursing homes. Too much? Yeah, well, after Trump we're sure anyone can get elected.
Guess Jew
If you've ever played Guess Who? you'd know it's actually a pretty exciting and exhilarating guessing game. It always feel like such a rush to try to beat the other player to the finish.
This amazing rendition of the game would be the most fun version to date. The name alone is already appealing enough for us to be sold on the idea. Someone has to make this a thing!
A Sad Truth
This. This is the definition of how all the people who desperately needed this stimulus check to work felt. It's honestly criminal to think that a few hundred bucks could be enough to sustain yourself for months.
After being put out of a job and unable to find work, it was honestly so depressing to find that the government was barely helping and there were actually people out there trying to fight against this. Honestly disgusting.
Jewish Fish
You've heard of Swedish fish, now there's Jewish fish! Made without the classic pig gelatin and completely kosher! This would honestly be the perfect marketing strategy to get more sold.
And yes, we've done a lot of Jewish stuff so far, but this isn't us making all of these products. And anyways, Jews are the best, just like the rest of humanity. Except bad people. Those are the worst. You don't see any "bad people fish", now do you?
Ben & Jerry's
Ah, yes, the sweet sweet taste of regret, now in a handy tub of ice cream to drown your sorrows in. If you were looking for something to eat the pain away, this is it.
Conveniently flavored as the cake that you would have otherwise missed out on, you can cry yourself to sleep thinking about what could have been. And, no, we didn't forget that non-refundable deposit.
The Masked Of Us Wave II
This game would have been a whole lot different if they didn't forget to wear their masks out in public. Too bad it was created shortly before the Covid-19 pandemic became a reality.
Ironically, this game does actually feature gas masks for the many parts of the game that you'll be wading through infectious mushroom spores. It just goes to show how well masks work.
Exe's Toast
This has got to be simultaneously the best and the saddest thing we have seen so far. It really embodies that break-up feeling. Though, in our opinion, you can never have too much garlic.
The greatest (and again, saddest) thing about the packaging is the part where it says "she gets half". We can't imagine a better thing to represent just how sad and terrible a divorce can be.
Flu Girl
We're not sure if it's in poor taste to keep these flu jokes coming, but here's another one regardless. The "We Hope It's Just The Flu Girl" bit really did us in on this one.
We can really see this being an actual episode of New Girl where Jess refuses to admit she's sick. It would make for a bunch more funny "dumb girl" antics for Zoey Deschanel to perfectly embody.
Diversity
Diversity. The thing this show is not about. Every one of the cast members is white and not even a wide range of religions to speak of. And that's exactly what makes this so funny.
For one of the best shows of all time, and certainly the best sitcom, it's surprising to see that this isn't a more diverse cast of people. Then again, they probably got a pass for that exact reason.
Malcom X...?
Speaking of non-diverse casts, this one is certainly another good addition to the collection. But it's good that it doesn't exist because this would just be another whitewashed movie.
Hilariously, though, Ryan Gosling really does seem to be cast in just about everything. Even if he's not in the entire film, he seems to make his way in one way or another.
Bean Bag
What can we say about this one? It's exactly what it says it is: a bag of beans. If you're looking for the right prank gift, we'd say that this one is a good bet. It even comes pre-cooked!
If your kid asks you for a bean bag, they probably want a comfy floor chair. But why not give them this instead? After all, it's supposed to make them feel big and strong.
JOE
This has got to be the best meme of the year. Slapping Joe Biden onto the huge staircase from the Joker film for him to trip upwards a few times is comedic gold right there.
As scary as tripping on stairs can be, Joe found himself completely fine, so we think it's okay to laugh a little. Or a lot. We honestly can't get enough of this meme and would watch this film a hundred times over.
Hunter Biden's Parmesan Cheese
Speaking of Joe Biden, did you know his son Hunter had a serious drug and alcohol addiction? He wrote all about it in his memoir and even spoke about it during an interview.
In it, he mentions that he was smoking anything that even remotely looked like crack, and has probably smoked more parmesan cheese than anyone the interviewer knew.
(I Fell Off A) Cliff Bar
This is the perfect energy snack for those moments when you just can't hold on anymore. They're packed with tons of energy for you to get yourself back together...after a trip to the hospital of course.
In the delicious, new, aptly named crunchy butterfingers flavor, these bars are truly the perfect edition for your dangerous solo free-climb up the Grand Canyon or any other cliff face you desire.
Thumbnails For YouTubers
This is the best "for dummies" variation we've seen so far. Thumbnails for YouTubers guarantee that you'll come away knowing how to get that perfect shot to reel in your audience's attention.
We honestly think if it just consisted of a surprised face that that would be good enough, but this assures you it can help you make all the other classics you know and hate. It's all just clickbait, truly.
Snow White And The Seven Layer Burrito
Ah, another Disney Princess classic. If the devil-worshipping Belle wasn't so much your style, this one sure will be. After all, who doesn't like food? It's the way to everyone's heart.
This Taco Bell crossover is sure to warm hearts and stomachs everywhere. With silly characters named after the ingredients, your kids are sure to make you take them out to their nearest Taco Bell ASAP.
Goosebumps: When A Robot Calls
The scariest thing in life is not monsters, puberty, or even telemarketers. No, it is, in fact, robots. They don't care whether or not you want your name off the list, they just want your payment details.
The worst part is, they're just getting harder and harder to detect. With names like Amy and Josh, they seem like your next-door neighbor. That is until they don't respond to you. Spooky!
Now That's What I Call Music Remix Volume II
From the makers of "Now That's What I Call My Neighbors Shooting Off Fireworks at 3 AM" comes to an all-new mix: "Now That's What I Call Another Corporation With a Rainbow Filter on Their Logo Trying to Trick LGBTQ+ Consumers Into Buying More of Their [Stuff]"!
We all know this is what's going down. These corporations don't care about any of your lifestyle choices, they just want your money. So, they slap a rainbow flag on their packaging and everyone eats it up.
Real Gayo
Speaking of, here's a perfect rendering of what that would look like. Though it would probably be more politically correct than calling it "Gayo". The point still stands, however.
The best part of this mayonnaise is the description of the thing: smooth and saucy. That's just how we like it. If this were a real product it would probably be the only mayo we buy.
MayOREO
As if these mayonnaise concepts weren't bad enough as it is, Doctor Photograph takes it a step further and developed MayOREO a disgusting combination of OREO cookies and mayonnaise.
People love to put mayonnaise on just about everything these days, so we wouldn't be surprised if anyone's tried something like this. Maybe a pregnant lady or a stoner would try something like this.
Drake & Josh
Oh, this one's bad, but in a funny sort of way. This Nickolodeon DVD sees Drake Bell from Drake and Josh being replaced with the musical artist Drake. That's an interesting combo.
While it's sad to think about Drake Bell's case, it's also quite uplifting to see a remix such as this. And on the bright side, it makes the cast more diverse. Take that, Friends!
That '70s Show
Wow, if the last one was bad then get a load of this one. It's That '70's Show, but without Steven Hyde, or, rather, the actor Danny Masterson, missing from the front cover.
We hate to find out that some of our most beloved TV show characters are actually criminals, but at least they aren't able to continue doing what they did. Not the one's who go to jail, anyway.
Womanwich
Cause you're a strong independent woman who doesn't need no man! Especially not in the kitchen where those very same men forced their wives into for most of their careers as a stay at home moms.
It's not even called a sloppy Joe anymore, replacing that name with Joanne. Now you can enjoy the perfect feminist snack while sitting home alone getting all many about your womanwich.
Thermostat Simulator
There are countless simulator games out there these days. Farming Simulator, Goat Simulator, The Sims, you name it. This one takes it one step further and dares you to touch the thermostat.
Who doesn't love that sweet sensation of your dad knowing when you change it exactly 1-degree Fahrenheit? Feel the rush as you struggle to get the thermostat anywhere above freezing temps.
How I Stretched A 15 Minute Story Into 9 Years
Wow this is honestly the most accurate title for this television series. It's honestly unbeliveable how they managed to stretch out a single story into a multitude of clickbaity, anticlimactic debatebly, funny seasons.
To be fair, the whole premise of the show was a very obvious ploy to be able to continue the show no matter what happens. The whole idea that you aren't told who the mother is was just begging to be wringged out for every penny.