Everyone has their insecurities. For some, it might be their weight, for others, their looks, and still others, interacting with other people. Whether or not you know it, you probably do something that tells everyone that you have at least some minor insecurities somewhere. These are the things we found that people do that tells other people of their insecurities. If you want to see if you do any of these things, keep reading to find out.
1. Bullying
This is the quintessential thing that screams that you're insecure about it. This is a problem in literally every school around the world. It's an inevitable problem that has no real solution because it's deeply rooted in the child's insecurities that come about naturally.
Common tactics that some kids use to combat this is to find and point out those insecurities. Whether or not it works is on a case-by-case basis, but there are many things to try that are worth a shot. The best thing might just be getting them some therapy.
2. Always Judging Negatively
"People who feel the need to judge everyone in a negative light and who only want to see the worst in others so they can feel better about themselves. It just shows how unhappy they truly are."
If you can't leave other people alone and can't stop bothering them about the things wrong with them, you might want to take a look inward on yourself. Maybe their are some things you need to address to help you be a better you.
3. Insulting Others' Looks
Insulting someone's appearance is not okay and is just petty bullying. People who do this are probably trying to deflect from their own insecurities and are projecting their feeling onto other people.
They don't want others to know that they have doubts about their own appearance whether it is inward or outward. They just want to put other people down in order to feel better about themselves.
4. Assuming Negative Intent
Everyone knows someone whose first thought when someone doesn't respond to them is something overly dramatic like they don't love them anymore or they're doing something scandalous.
If you're someone who can't help but think the worst has happened anytime someone does this, you really need to stop overthinking things. Your other option is to find someone you can trust wholeheartedly instead so that you don't cause everyone undue stress.
5. Tracking Your Significant Other
"When people have and insist on constantly checking on their SO via some tracking app on their phone. It's one thing to have it and use it in case of emergency, but using it while out with your friends to make sure he's actually at work is creepy and super insecure."
This is definitely something that needs to stop. Not only does it prove you can't trust your partner (which will probably make them like you less and actually go off and do what you think they will--and probably while you're tracking them live), it's pretty abusive in its own right.
6. Talking About Everyone You Sleep With
"The more you talk about how good you are in bed and how many women you've [slept with] the less I believe you." This couldn't be more true. The more you say it the more we think you're lying.
If you can't stop talking about all the women you sleep with, it's a pretty clear indication that that is something you value. And the fact that you have to keep telling us about it means that you're worried we won't believe you, probably because it isn't true.
7. Self Burns
Whenever you put yourself down in front of others they notice. Especially if you're always making fun of yourself it can be a little uncomfortable. We can tell that people like this are definitely insecure.
"I’m just always bullying myself in front of people so that I take any power away from peers to dish out any of their own put downs because ridicule is my biggest fear in life."
8. Bragging
When someone flaunts about the things that have (especially when it's all from their parents), it can be pretty uncomfortable because you know that they are just trying to put themselves on a level higher than you.
The thing is that they have gotten all of these things handed down to them, so it's a pretty good sign that they need to feel secure about their and their parents social status and power.
9. One-Upping People
Similarly to bragging, when you one-up someone you're just trying to put yourself on a higher level than them. You don't want other to potentially see you as inferior to the people who surround you
People who do this will always try to have something better to say than you, even if you're just talking about a simple high score that you got in a video game. It becomes a problem when they start on-upping your personal acheivements.
10. Humble Bragging
If you're not sure what humble bragging is, it's when you make a seemingly modest or self-deprecating comment but your actual intent is to draw attention to the fact that you did or achieved something great, typically because you want praise but don't want to seem stuck up.
An example of this would be like saying "I woke up with the worst bedhead and couldn't shower. I hope no one will judge me on tonight's 8 o'clock live show!". The point there wasn't to point out that you don't look good, but rather that you're going to be on TV. People do this to avoid directly telling people that they're better than them.
11. Compulsive Lying
"Lying about something to seem cool. It's very obviously a signal of insecurity because they don't like who they are now." It always seems to come back to not liking yourself for who you are.
We don't claim to be professionals or anything, but we think people who can't like themselves need to find a therapist to speak to because you can't change who you are, just the way you act and think about yourself. You deserve to be happy, too.
12. Being Mean Spirited For No Reason
Why do people feel the need to always be rude to people outside of their friend circles? These are the kinds of people who will take a look at you for the first time ever and immediately decide that you're their enemy.
We can't even comprehend what's going on in their minds. If you really have such a need to challenge someone on everything you should find some sort of sport to do and have a rival who is willing to take all the bull you dish out.
13. Ruining Peoples Little Pleasures
"When you tell someone something positive or nice that happened to you, for example, that you purchased a new TV and that you start to notice that the other person always tries to poke holes in your cloud of happiness by saying you instead should have waited, the TV is too big, it consumes to much power, that brand is s***ty and so on."
"They do this with everything you share with them that is somewhat positive to your life." These are the kinds of people you need to avoid. If they can't be happy with themselves, they're going to try and take you down with them.
14. "Women That Guard Their Men Like A Soldier"
Some people seem to have the tendency to overprotect their partners. It's like they're afraid that if they left them off guard that they would go off and leave them. They'll even protect them from trusted friends:
"I was leaving an abusive relationship my friend offered me a place to stay. The hitch was if she wasn't there and just her husband was I had to leave. I got a hotel room. Not dealing with that." Maybe if you're worried about what they might do without you around, you shouldn't be together.
15. Being Be Overly Protective Of Your Girlfriend
"Grabbing your girl tighter as you walk into public places. Followed by awful looks to anyone who makes eye contact." This is similar to the last one, but with a bit of a gender role swap.
If you can't go anywhere without doing this, it really shows that you're afraid you're not good enough for her and that she'll leave you for someone else. Relax, dude, we were just looking at how overly dramatic you are.
16. Overly Social Media Heavy
"All those people who post on Facebook those quotes that are like: ‘don’t worry about those who talk behind your back, they’re behind you for a reason Or they tag themselves into any and EVERY place including the docs/hospital/somewhere personal. Then when someone asks if they’re ok they reply with: ‘don’t ask hun xoxoxo"
People like this are basically looking for any amount of attention they can get without directly telling people they're not okay or asking them for help. They expect people to flock to their rescue without any questions asked.
17. Joint Facebook Profiles
Are you incapable of having your own account? Why do you need to share one account with your partner? You are two entirely different people and you should be able to have separate lives, not be the same person.
The only thing we can think of is that one or both of you are afraid that you'll use your account to cheat or do things the other doesn't approve of. Not being able to trust your partner enough to have their own account just screams insecurity.
18. Bragging About How Controlling Their Partner Is
"I remember shopping with 2 friends and they both kept saying 'oh blank would never let me wear that' 'blank wouldn't be cool with me doing (normal think with the opposite gender)'. My response was 'oh I would never let someone tell me how to dress or who to hang out with'."
"I have been with the same guy for nearly 20 years and they still think it's weird that I do my own thing and don't ask him permission. F that nonsense." You shouldn't stop doing the normal things you do just because your partner says so. That's just abusive.
19. Feeling Abandoned When Someone Needs Time
"Socially aware individuals understand that the other people have a life to run and might need a day or seven for them only. Insecure people are going to have a fit and from the first lapse of communication, they expect that they have been abandoned for some really abstract reason, regardless if it has any merit or not."
You can't expect everything to go your way. Just because you're afraid of abandonment does not mean that everyone has the intent to do so to you. You have to trust that the people you relate to are going to let you know what they're feeling when they're ready.
20. Being A Yes Man
If you always say yes to people just to make them happy, then you're probably insecure yourself. It might show a lac of confidence that you'll be able to win the hearts of the people around you.
Telling people "yes" all the time is kind of like bribing them for their interest in you. If you do whatever they want, then maybe they'll give you a better report to others or have less of a negative judgement of you.
21. Arguing Against Things Other Than The Point
People who argue with you by pointing out the flaws in the exact wording you use are just annoying. We're not looking for the grammar police when we're trying to resolve a conflict, we're trying to come to a common conclusion and end the argument.
"They argue against your grammar, semantics, or micro-details, rather than the point you were obviously trying to make. 'You showed up to work an hour late!' 'No, I didn't, I was an hour and four minutes late, don't you know the difference between 8:00 and 9:04!?' 'OH S**T YOU SURE PUT ME IN MY PLACE, JOSH!'"
22. Trying Too Hard To Be Entertaining
"Trying overly hard to be funny/likable/smart around people who already know you well just to seek attention and validation". If you're already good friends, nothing you do (unless it's bad) is going to change that.
The funniest people are those who don't even try to be funny and just are naturally. We don't need you to always put on an act when we're together, we like you for who you are.
23. Constantly Asking If Someone Is Mad At You
"Constantly asking if someone is mad at you, even when they have told you several times that they are not mad at you". Like, why do you need to know every second if we're okay? Sorry that we stopped smiling for 3.2906 seconds.
Everyone has probably met someone like this in their lives. And while it's probably due to some underlying trauma, it doesn't make it any easier to deal with. If you thought we were mad before, you constantly asking will definitely make us mad now.
24. Not Being Able To Sit In Silence
"Being unable to sit in silence with others without talking, even if there’s nothing to talk about". You're not being judged by whoever you're sitting with until you open your mouth and try to make awkward small talk.
It's okay that you have nothing to say. That doesn't make you boring, it doesn't make you a bad person. It just means that the two of you aren't feeling a vibe. Not everyone has to love everyone and always speak. In fact, some of the best friendships are ones where you can just sit in each other's presence and enjoy the peace.
25. Making Up Stories To Seem Cool
"People who constantly tell stories to make themselves seem really tough or badass. Yeah, dad, that's really awesome that you kicked some guy's ass when you were in the marines 40 years ago."
That example is, unfortunately, something that happens a lot with men because of social stigmas forcing men to prove how "manly" they can be. But other people can also do similar things, but just know that we don't really care. If we like you then you don't need to boost yourself up more.
26. Dominating Conversations
"Trying to dominate conversations (not to be confused with just being a charismatic person)." Basically, you're fine if you talk a lot, but when you take the conversation and make everything about you, it makes you seem insecure.
Just because we said something does not mean you need to find any and all reasons to relate it to one of your experiences. Give someone else a chance at speaking. It just seems like you want everyone to know how good you are.
27. Treating Those Below You Poorly
"People who are in upper management and treat people like garbage just because they can." We get it, you have a higher position. Did you ever stop to think that it might be that way simply because you were there longer?
It's so frustrating when people who have higher-up positions treat everyone like they're not equal. More pay and more privileges does not mean that we aren't people just like you are. Stop treating your employees like you're god.
28. Putting Down New Employees
"Treating new employees like garbage just because you're threatened they might take your job someday." If you've been at your job for a while, chances are that you'll be able to pull yourself out of whatever bad position you've gotten yourself into.
And if you're afraid someone will take your job, maybe that means you're not doing your job well enough. Maybe it's time you step up your game and stop treating others like trash before you even know them.
29. People With Extremely Low Self-Esteem
"People whose self-esteem is so low that they can't stand the sight of people with high self-esteem, so they will try to break down anyone they perceive as more successful than them."
"When a group of this type of people comes together, a major crab bucket mentality arises and they will target people perceived as highly competent or successful for bullying, gossip, false rumors, and other things that should have been wiped out after elementary school."
30. Not Accepting When You're Wrong
These people will completely disregard any comment and point that you try to make proving to them that they aren't right. They will deflect arguments and do whatever they can to avoid being proven otherwise.
They'll even start shouting random and completely unrelated things just to pin the blame on someone or something else. They for some reason cannot stand the thought of being wrong. You literally just have to apologize and it'll be over with.
31. Constantly Needing Affirmation
People like this really need to know that they are doing okay in the eyes of their peers, but they do so by constantly asking about it. "I look skinny, right?" "You think this looks good on me, right?" "You sure I don't look fat?"
These people aren't just asking something once, they ask multiple questions every few minutes related to the same thing. Yes, you're pretty! Everyone wants to flirt with you and not me, are you happy? No, they'll only be happy if they can confirm that every second.
32. Validation
This is almost the same, but "making small gestures and then constantly seeking validation and reassurance that you are appreciated, even if there’s no reason to think you aren’t appreciated".
Rather than asking constantly about themselves in an effort to make sure you look good to others, these people will do genuinely nice things, but use that as a way to make sure that people like them. You don't need to bribe your way to being a good person.
33. Going Through Someone's Phone
This not only proves how insecure the person is in their relationship, but it's also a total invasion of privacy that usually reveals nothing. Someone who does this doesn't deserve the trust they so hope to get from their partner.
You should never go through someone's phone regardless of how you feel. If you can't trust your partner, you should consider breaking up with them and finding someone that you can trust.
34. Using Fear As An Excuse To Not Do Something
"Hate your job? You don’t apply for any others because you’re scared of being rejected, or that you don’t deserve a better job. In a terrible relationship? You stay because you’re scared of being alone. That kind of insecurity is the worst because it affects nearly everyone."
Don't let your personal fears get to you. You'll never succeed at anything if you never try. Rejection is scary, but we all have to face it at some point or another. And if you're having trouble leaving your relationship, you're just putting yourself at risk by not addressing the issues or leaving.
35. Changing Your Views To Fit In
"Lying about your opinions and views to fit in while "canceling" somebody who thinks the exact same as you but chooses to express it." For example, telling someone you don't dink and then calling them boring a week later for not drinking with you and your friends.
These kinds of people are obviously worried that other people will think poorly of them if they do something that's often stigmatized, but the minute they've been accepted by the people around them they suddenly become hypocritical.
36. Lifted Pickup Trucks
"Living in the suburbs and getting a giant lifted pickup truck for the sole purpose of intimidating other drivers and driving like a [jerk]." Having a car hobby is one thing, but this is totally different.
This pretty much goes back to that bit about men needing to prove how manly they are due to social stigmas. You don't need to bring a super suped-up car to a place that doesn't care about it. You're not proving anything by it.
37. Never Walking Alone
"Not being able to walk anywhere alone. I am not talking about walking alone at night but if you are not able to walk to the bathroom or another class alone, you have a problem."
This is mostly consistent throughout high school, but if you can't grow out of the habit then you might, indeed, have a problem. You should feel comfortable enough to go somewhere on your own at all times (excluding literally feeling unsafe).
38. Concealing Yourself
"Consistently wearing clothes that conceal the body (like wearing the same jumper to school every day year round)" Not that this is necessarily a bad thing, but you should be comfortable in your own skin.
You shouldn't have to make yourself uncomfortable with all those layers because you're afraid of what people will think. It's all about body positivity! Where whatever you want; we all have some imperfections we want to hide.
39. Looking Down And Away
Something that really shows insecurity is when a person can't look up from the ground. It's like they are always in a bubble of self-loathing as if they think we can see all their flaws and faults.
You know it's a problem when someone can't even look at you. Not only does it make you seem untrustworthy or dishonest, but it also shows a lack of respect, even if you don't mean any of those things by it. Look up and ahead, you belong here just like the rest of us.
40. Not Participating In Groups
"Not participating in social media and/ or group conversations because of fear of rejection". You might be afraid of rejection, but that is no reason to get a healthy dose of socializing in.
Not everyone is going to like you and that's okay. You can't limit yourself to the things you do just because the popular kids might hate you. You deserve just as much as they do.
41. Being Too Shy
It's one thing to be a little introverted, but it's an entirely different situation when you're with someone who barely speaks or looks at you because they are too shy to say or do anything.
This isn't so much a bad or annoying thing, per se, but it definitely shows some insecurity in the person. If you're able to open up a bit after spending some time, then you'll probably be alright, but if it's hard for you to socialize, then it's an issue.
42. Being Too Pushy About Your Love Life
"Posting photos with your SO on Facebook every day claiming how madly in love you are and how perfect each other is". It's fine to show the world the love you have, but when you do it like this, it's just sad.
It's like your trying to prove to everyone that you're in love as if anyone would doubt you. If you're trying to prove to everyone rather than yourself how madly in love you are, that's grounds to take a look at how you're relationship is actually going.
43. Too Many Selfies
"Excessive selfies. The more staged/constructed they are the worse off the person is. I even know people who don't think they look right without a filter. They don't get sad and Fd up that is."
If you can't see how beautiful you are without the help of a camera, then you might want to go get yourself a therapist. You can't expect to always look your best every second of every day. You need to learn how to be comfortable in your own body.
44. Complaining To The Waiter
"When you complain to a waiter/server to impress your date" that's crossing a line. You're not impressing anyone, just making a fool of yourself and probably also embarrassing your partner.
You don't need to put others down to make yourself look good. That's just scummy. If you really want to impress your date, you should try being kind to your server and leave them a nice tip. And also pay for dinner.
45. Jealousy
Being jealous of someone just yells insecurity. If you need to have the same things as other people, it feels like you were neglected as a kid. Sorry you couldn't get what you wanted, but that's not our problem.
Like if you want something so badly, you should go get a job and work for it yourself. Not only will you feel super good and proud of yourself, you might even shake that habit of getting jealous of others because you can get whatever you want yourself.
46. Banning A Movie In Your Country
Though it doesn't exactly apply to more than one person in this world, this one definitely screams insecurity. It all started when Xi Jinping, the president of The People's Republic of China, visited the U.S. and had a date with former President Barack Obama.
People were quick to point out the resemblance between a picture of them and a picture of Tigger and Winnie The Pooh. Ever since, he has come to hate the cartoon and had even banned it in China.